So you have closed a deal and now you and your team have to ‘deliver’. There is a gap between where you are now and where you want to be. This can cause mixed feelings. On the one hand you experience healthy excitement; yes, we have closed the deal!
At the same time being awarded a contract can cause stress if you don’t yet know how you are going to deliver.
How do you cope with this tension? Do you want to get rid of this stress immediately or do you take your time to think about it? Do you want to solve it straightaway or do you go in denial? Can you get from A to B without experiencing a lot of stress? Je hebt dus een deal gesloten en nu moet je het samen met het team ‘gaan doen’.
It’s based on a primary belief that we all seem to assimilate at an early age, including the belief that other people are responsible for our stress. We easily forget that it’s not the other person or the deadline or the circumstances that stress us, it is how we respond. It’s our response that “contains” the stress. While this is easy to understand in theory it’s challenging to put it to practice .
Example: For example, you are in your car on the way to an important meeting. The person in front is driving very slowly on a winding, single lane road. There is no way you can pass.
You begin to feel irritated, then frustrated, then downright angry. You are in pain, you are stressed. Who creates your pain? You do! What do you learn? Absolutely nothing. Why? Because, like many of us, you are carrying and holding on to a few beliefs that block your ability to change how you respond. One belief is that it’s OK to feel angry, it’s natural, it’s a normal response in such situations. The other belief is that it’s the person in the car in front, it’s “them” that is making us angry! Obviously not true. Our anger is entirely created by us. Belief three is more like an addiction. Some of us are addicted to the suffering of anger because it gives us a quick hit of adrenaline which makes us feel more alive for a short while. The car in front of us is a great excuse to generate two stimulating chemicals in our body, cortisol and adrenaline.
You cannot control or change the past or other people and they are not responsible for your happiness/ success. You are responsible for ‘your Self.’
Stress (or anger as in the example above) is always the result of expecting others to do things that will make us happy/successful and then trying to change them when it turns out they don’t do the things that will make us happy. This, of course, is trying to do the impossible This is why whenever we get angry (to stick to the example) or stressed it means we are ‘clinically insane’.
Apart from the fact that we are out of control (the emotion is in control) and that we are irrational in moments of stress, the real reason for our temporary insanity is that we are attempting to do the impossible!
Fortunately it is momentary as it’s impossible to stay angry forever! Starting to get the picture…? Once you see this and stop resisting and trying to change other people and situations that have already happened you will ‘never’ get angry again… (yes, it’s really possible by practicing this, just try).
And remember in every moment: there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way! This might be difficult to grasp in the beginning, but once you get it, you will understand that: it’s not about reaching the goal in itself, it’s about how you get there.
Questions: Which emotions do you seem to create most? Why do you think that is? How do I LIVE…NOW, in this moment?
Reflection: Emotion is the price you pay today for your attachments to yesterday – what does this mean?
Read: Learn to relax; easing tension, conquering stress, freeing the self. Auteur Mike George
Curious how to implement this balanced way of working into your daily business? Start your conversation about this today. Let’s talk! Contact me.